Tired

I am very, very tired. The reporting of that unexpected income got entangled with my annual eligibility review for medicaid and food assistance. While working on sorting that out some strange error occurred with their computer system somehow thinking I had reported another occupant of the household. Today I went into their office to sort these issues out and complete the review. I will rest easy once I receive official notification in the mail, but the very nice person I worked with there today said everything should continue as it has been with no changes or interruptions.

I’m still waiting for a letter with the official word on whether I have to pay back a month (or more?) of SSI. I sure hope they let me know soon.

I had a difficult time sorting out what the requirements for a building permit were under new state codes. For a while I thought I was going to have to hire an inspector at a cost of hundreds if not thousands of dollars, which would have prevented me from doing any further work on my house. Fortunately, after much ado and running around trying to get straight answers, it seems I do not have to do that – this time. However there is legislation pending that may change that next year.

The planning for purchases had to be done so quickly a lot of smaller things were forgotten.  Now I need to arrange transportation to the city at least once if not two or three times to get those items. Until that is accomplished I cannot do much work on the place. I keep going onto a total panic/anxiety shutdown when I try to ask for help, so I’m getting nowhere with that – and the clock is ticking. I need to get on this work immediately to have a realistic chance of completing it this summer.

I am having a great deal of anxiety arising from all these issues. I have days that I function well despite this (encouraging) and days I do not function at all (alarming). I am often waking in the morning with those awful, paralyzing anxiety attacks I used to have.

This has been very draining. On top of that I have had some physical exertion as well. Last Friday I realized I was completely out of time and options on getting a bag of Boo’s prescription food before he ran out, so I decided to gamble on making the 34 mile round trip on my bicycle. There are several large hills on the route. I made it, but was extremely tired and sore when I got home.