Both my city shopping and trip to the dental clinic went rather well.
I was able to get all the items on my shopping list. There was just one “hairy” moment when I was very anxious and nearly panicked. We were at Lowe’s, where I bought supplies for several current projects. Jessica picked up an item she wanted. We had a little glitch checking out. I prefer not to go into details of how it happened, but we got separated. I found myself outside, no Jessica in sight. That in itself was not a problem, but I had visions of her wondering where I went and if I was OK. I couldn’t decide what to do. Should I go back inside and try to find her? Or just wait where I was? If I went back inside, what would I do with the bags of stuff I just bought? I didn’t feel comfortable taking them back inside with me, but I had no safe place to leave them. I was just about to panic, when she came out and saw me. Whew!
This was the first of five trips in the process of getting dentures. Plus I am told there will probably be one or more trips after that for adjustments. This one went reasonably smoothly. I was quite uncomfortable in the waiting room, as always. Once I got in with the dentist and assistants, I was fine.The next appointment has already been scheduled for February 28.
At this point I am apprehensive about future trips. On the way home, Jessica said we could fast track this process by splitting up the remaining trips between her and my case manager. I’m not comfortable with that, but couldn’t force myself to say anything. I’m hoping she will bring the subject up when I see her later this week, and ask if that plan is OK with me. Usually she is very good about asking things like that. If she doesn’t ask about it, I could be in for some trouble.
As it turns out, that ice biking trip Friday night to get cash could have been avoided. But where would be the fun in that? 😉 The cold snap wasn’t as bad as predicted. I ended up walking to town Sunday morning to do some grocery shopping. It was cold! It was 10 degrees (above zero) when I left home, with a light northwest wind probably making the wind chill factor around zero. On the way into town our prevailing northwest winter wind is directly into my face. About half way there the wind suddenly picked up and it was brutally cold. Brrrrr! Despite not being able to feel my ears or fingers, I kept going. The return trip was far more pleasant with the wind at my back.
Hi Paul,
It was very interesting for me to read this entry, thanks for sharing. I do experience similar difficulties with situations such as the one you went through in your trip to Lowe’s. Things like going back into a store with merchandise I just bought there are a challenge for me. I get very anxious and nervous with stuff of this sort. The other day for instance I had finished paying for my groceries in the supermarket and was leaving with a shopping cart full of stuff when I realized my husband had disappeared inside the store! I did not know what to do – should I leave the cart at the door and go back looking for him? What if somebody would take something out of it? Or the whole cart, for that matter??Should I go back inside with the cart, then – but then, Would people suspect me of trying to add something to what I had just bought and leave without paying??? Would anybody say anything? Scold me? Accuse me of something?? In a few moments my mind created all kinds of weird possible scenarios!!! Before I had to take any action, my husband showed up. But I felt pretty nervous for something that I imagine I should not have been (though I have no idea how this is accomplished!)
In fact, although it does not get much worse than that, it seems I feel nervous and anxious about so many silly things other people are totally relaxed about. Now and then I get really tired of stressing and getting nervous so much. It is not only turning minor difficulties into major ones for no reason. It also takes most joy out of life really. I realize that in a way I can only feel a measure of happiness about many things, even good ones, once they are over. I mean, it’s not only my trips to the supermarket that are “damaged” by anxiety; it’s also if I’m traveling, eating out, doing any of the things that most people consider fun and enjoyable, because before and during it I am usually too nervous and anxious to enjoy it fully. It’s just afterwards, if everything went well, that I can look back and feel some satisfaction.
As for the cold you had to face when walking, it’s truly amazing that you can deal with such weather! Definitely something you can be very proud of! Here in Atlanta we had a couple of days in the 40s and 30s and THAT was tough enough for me! 🙂
Best wishes,
Nadia
PS I got so carried away whining about my anxiety that I forgot to say that I’m very happy to know the process of getting dentures is under way and going well!
Hi Nadia,
What whining? I didn’t see any whining, but I did see you sharing about how the anxiety beast affects you. I appreciate that. I would not wish these struggles on you or anyone, but in a way it does help to know I am not the only one going through these things.
Thanks for these comments. That is pretty much the same thought process my mind goes through when I contemplate going back into a store with items I just bought there or with items I bought at another store. No matter how much I try to stop the process, it just keeps going.
I get really tired of the stressing over small things too. Things that wouldn’t bother most people. I often feel worn out just from constantly having anxiety over little things, even when there is nothing big happening.
As for cold, I have been very lucky so far. This has been an unbelievably mild winter. Our coldest temperature so far was 17 below. Usually we have many mornings at 30 to 40 below in January/February. We have very little snow. At one point there was maybe a foot of it, but more than half that has melted. Normally we would have 3 or 4 feet of snow by now. Joking with Jessica yesterday I said I guess I am being eased into my new walking lifestyle. I’m sure succeeding winters will not be as nice. 🙂
Best wishes,
Paul
I also get extremely freaked out when I get separated from someone in a store. The amount of questions that flow through my mind are enough to panic a crowd of people!
So example… the other day I went out to dinner with my fiance & a friend. After dinner…they went to the restroom. So I got up & went to the front of the restaurant waiting for them. After a few minutes they hadn’t come out…so I went outside in front. Mostly checking to see if the Orange Julius store was still open (sadly it wasn’t). And I just stood out there thinking and enjoying the fresh air.
Then they finally come out and tell me that they’d been waiting a few minutes for me to exit the bathroom. They assumed I was going to go too!
Of course, while I was pacing outside I thought “What if they think I’m in the bathroom? What if I sit up front & wait & they don’t see me?”
I sympathize.
~Jules~
I just read the comments between you two.
Separation in supermarkets often brings up the same questions for me
Nadia:
“Should I leave the cart at the door and go back looking for him? What if somebody would take something out of it? Or the whole cart, for that matter?”
“Should I go back inside with the cart”
“Would people suspect me of trying to add something to what I had just bought and leave without paying?”
“Would anybody say anything? Scold me? Accuse me of something??” –Nadia
I also wonder things like….
What if he fell down in an aisle & no one’s around?
What if I bring in a soda I bought somewhere else & they sell the same soda here – will they think I stole it?
Should I go walking aisle by aisle for him?
What if we don’t see each other?
Should I call him? Should I text him?
Would it be stupid to call him when we are both right here in this store?
Should I ask an associate to watch my stuff?
If they say yes, and I put it there,
what if they leave?
What if they go on break?
What if someone takes it? Will I have to pay for everything again?
Are there video cameras to prove my innocence?
I guess its not that the scenarios in my mind (or yours) are crazy. They are all reasonable things to be worried about. People do steal. People do lie. And we care more about people than we do about stuff. But we also want to be financially responsible & to take good care of the things we buy. When there’s a conflict… there’s bound to be a hurricane of worry.
Maybe there should be a meeting place in case of separation…. like always going to register 1. It sucks.
~Jules~
Hi Jules,
I go through much the same process and ask myself many of the same questions. It can provoke intense anxiety.
I have noticed a lot of people call someone that they came into a store with while they are in the store. Often I think it’s because they are looking at stuff in different parts of the store and one person wants to ask the other about something they are looking at. But sometimes I have overheard people in a store making a call and the first thing they ask is “What aisle are you in?” and then “OK, stay there, I will catch up with you.” So I don’t think people would think it’s stupid to call him when you are both in the store.
Best wishes,
Paul