Yard Sale

This blog is about my struggle with anxiety. It is not my intent to make it about religion, but I have recently begun to reconnect with my long abandoned faith. Evidence of that may creep in here from time to time.

This weekend I had my very first yard sale. Most of my life I have been so terrified of interacting with people that I would not have even considered such a thing. I have come a long way in recent times. I was apprehensive about trying this right up until the first customers stopped to look around. The apprehension completely vanished at that point. I was completely comfortable interacting with people after that. I greeted everyone who stopped with “Good morning”, “Hello”, or whatever. I chatted with many of them. I met a number of those people who  have a warm, friendly, almost bubbly personality. I met people who when asked “How are you?” responded with something along the lines of “I am alive, it is a nice day and therefore I am doing great!” Some people have a way of saying that and making you absolutely believe it. And they truly do seem happy with just those basics, no matter what else may be going on in their lives. I admire that and aspire to be that way. My best cust0mer pulled up to the curb in a big rig (18 wheeler). I had such a great time doing the yard sale (particularly, interacting with people) that I wish I had more stuff to sell so I could do it again! This has greatly boosted my self esteem and my overall mood. I would describe it as having become more “eager for life.” Interacting with others and meeting new people generally has that affect, but I still struggle to find ways to do it.

Yesterday morning I awoke thankful for the strength to attempt the yard sale and grateful for the wonderful experience it turned out to be. Nevertheless I was feeling quite overwhelmed at all the work that needed to be done. I still have one wall that needs plastic, plywood, home wrap, and windows. I have two pre-hung doors that need to be painted. I have a utility trailer my brother left here that needs to be painted and sold. I need to improvise ways of winterizing the house with the internal “damage” that had to be done to fix structurally unsound walls. The house needs to be cleaned top to bottom. Online classified ads need to be updated/renewed and more posted. eBay auctions need to be started. I walked around looking over each task but the more I did the more overwhelmed I felt. I was unable to make a start on anything.

After reflecting on things and consulting my faith for guidance I settled on a thorough cleaning of the kitchen. As the reader may recall, the kitchen is the one room in my home that is finished inside. The yard sale stuff has been piled there all summer because that was the only place I wouldn’t have to keep moving it as I worked on the rest of the house. Cleaning the kitchen turned out to be a good move. Now I have one nice, clean, uncluttered place I can go to escape the chaos that is all around me. I feel better.