That Went Well… Not!

Friday was my big day. It was the day I would be getting my dentures! After years of suffering frequent infections, a year and a half fighting the system to get the best solution for me, and months of increased anxiety going out in public due to having no teeth, this was a huge event. It turned out to be a huge event in more ways than one.

After many trips to the dentist, I finally felt comfortable enough to walk up to the check-in window and handle that process myself, instead of having my DLS worker do it. Things were going well!

I had mentioned to the dentist on a previous visit, with the temporary wax impression, that one spot was quite painful when he inserted or removed the upper one.  In that one spot I have a spur or bump in the jaw bone, very minimally covered by the gum. He assured me it would be better with the permanent denture so I dropped it.

This was the first day trying the finished product, and it hurt much worse going in! He made adjustments, but after inserting and removing them several times that spot was so sore and painful I couldn’t be sure whether it helped or not.

Then something happened that sent me into total crisis mode. He asked me to repeat certain phrases several times to gauge how much my speech was affected by the new dentures. What could I do? I didn’t know this was going to happen. I was totally overcome with anxiety and did not want to do this! I didn’t want to speak at all with several people listening, yet even explaining that I did not want to do this would have required speaking. What I really wanted to do, and almost did, was get up and just walk out. My every instinct said run! Instead I forced myself to stay and follow instructions, though every moment I knew I was getting deeper into trouble. Next he asked me to remove and re-insert them, again with several people watching. This was the same scenario, only different! Somehow I got through it but at the same time I knew I was going to suffer for it. Last but not least, I was instructed to wear the new dentures on the way home. I had important errands to do on the way home, but this completely eliminated any chance of me doing them. Less than an hour after getting my dentures, and with my speech barely intelligible, I could not possibly walk into any place of business and speak! Nor did I have the option of removing them, as there was no private place to do it and my anxiety would not allow me to do it with anyone able to see.

It is now Tuesday morning. I have probably walked 20 miles each of the last four days, just pacing the floors of my home. I have slept less than two hours a night and am exhausted almost to the point of collapse. I cannot remain focused on any task for more than a few moments at a time. I am struggling to write this post, as I constantly “find” myself pacing and wondering what I had been doing, if anything. I have not ventured out of the house and am now critically behind on errands. I am absolutely miserable and exhibiting symptoms of PTSD.

After having the dentures in for over an hour on the ride home, I got a mind numbing, breath arresting stab of intense pain in that problem spot when I removed the upper. I had been instructed to take them out when I got home, put them back in an hour later, etc. and keep alternating for a few days like that until I became more comfortable wearing them. I tried but could not tolerate the pain of re-inserting them. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I was having some pain all the time, and did not try to insert the dentures at all. Monday morning I attempted to re-insert them for the ride to the follow-up appointment as instructed. I again got a mind numbing, breath stopping stab of pain. I dropped the denture as the pain literally brought me to my knees and tears came to my eyes. I could not do this.

When my DLS worker arrived to take me to the appointment, I was in total panic mode. I barely manged to utter a few broken words and phrases about my situation with PTSD symptoms from Friday’s disaster, and the pain. She correctly sized up the situation in deciding I could not keep this appointment.

The appointment has been re-scheduled for May 7. Although I did not speak to him myself, the word I got was that the dentist said “we will see what, if anything, can be done”. I’m hopeful some adjustment can be made which will alleviate the pain issue, but I’m honestly not sure. He already thinned the denture material greatly in that spot. Perhaps there are other things that can be done. I’m not sure. Just in case, I am mentally trying to prepare for the possibility I may not be able to wear dentures.

The sun has come out after two days of heavy rain. I really should be out walking, or better yet doing errands, but I doubt I can force myself out of the house.