Therapeutic Destruction

I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. It’s not even so much about anxiety any more, it’s what I like to call “real people stress” – that is, the sort of stress everyone experiences in life. Who wouldn’t feel stressed about rapidly approaching winter with their house in a state that is not winter ready and considerable doubt as to whether it can be made ready in the time remaining?

I barely recognize myself and when I look at myself I don’t like what I see. I’ve become grouchy, whiny, always bitching and moaning about something; short tempered, having no patience for any work that doesn’t go smoothly. My mood wasn’t improved much by loss of yet another expensive TV antenna and some of my ham radio antennas in Saturday night’s early winter snow storm.

The broken antennas needed to be removed from an 80 foot tower as soon as possible due to the risk of further damage and the potential for the situation becoming so hazardous they could not be removed without extreme risk. Actually there is an element of danger in any tower work, especially when climbing a structure with a mass of twisted and broken metal dangling awkwardly at the top. But the risk would only increase the longer I waited. I decided instead of doing it the usual way, carefully unbolting each piece and lowering it to the ground on a rope, I would take the quick (but more dangerous) approach: cut everything apart into manageable sections with a saw and throw them off the tower! This is definitely not recommended. One false move and a heavy section could sever a guy wire or shake the very old tower so violently as to cause total collapse. I knew that but had absolute confidence in my ability to do a dangerous thing safely. I wouldn’t spend too much time analyzing that statement. 🙂

I had fun, for the first time in quite a while! I usually enjoy climbing, though I would prefer construction over destruction. Nevertheless, throwing large chunks of antenna, pipe, etc. off the top of an 80 foot tower is exhilarating!  They make a nice satisfying thump when they hit the ground below. I rather imagine I would make a similar thump if ever I fall from there. The twisted pile of metal in the yard now reminds me of some modern art I’ve seen! Maybe I should keep it. I’ll call the technique “gravity sculpting”. Just kidding. I will clean it up sometime soon.

Boo watched the activity from the window with considerable interest, as usual. That is, until the first section hit the ground. He vanished very quickly at that point and was not seen in the window again. He apparently found the thump more terrifying than satisfying.

With any luck, perhaps this good mood I find myself in will carry over into tomorrow. I need to make a run to town for food early, but hope to get back to work on my house after that. I’m very nervous about doing it. The fine dust from cutting plywood will get me all stuffed up and sneezing, beyond any doubt whatsoever – and no matter how many precautions I take. I can only hope it doesn’t cause problems with the still healing hole in my head! With good weather forecast for several days, I am hoping to get the rest of the sheathing done, the house wrap on, and a door installed. An honest to goodness door, you know, with hinges and everything! Yes, there was a door there before I started this project but it has been so long now I barely remember those days!